哇~ 真的好久沒上來這裡寫寫了.. 在這麼長時間內, 確實, 發生了很多事情~ 當中包括傷心的, 開心的, 煩惱的, 什麼都有.. 今晚有時間, 就好好的發洩一下吧~
最近多了很多很多煩惱, 一波未平 一波又起.. 一直都是這樣的過日子.. 其實, 不多, 也不複雜, 只是我自己不懂得怎麼解決才搞到那麼複雜的 =.=
首先, 是我的未來.. 在我前一段戀情結束的時候, 當下我就決定說我要出國, 到新加坡去, 離開這個地方~ 不再留念~ 不留任何牽掛這樣離開.. 可是, 到了中間, 明明路很順的這樣走下去沒什麼障礙, 可是卻在途中多了很多選擇, 留下, 繼續做自己喜歡的事情可是賺不到那麼多的錢, 西馬, 還能做自己喜歡做的事情可是卻要更加努力坐上那個位子, 出國, 重新開始, 不知道會遇到什麼樣的新挑戰, 可是一定要全力以赴, 靠自己做出好成績.. 心裡一直在想, 我應該怎麼辦, 我應該選擇什麼路, 出國么? 留下來? 時間不多了... 我應該做什麼決定呢? T.T
今天, 是八月的第一天, 原本想說應該會是開心的一天, 卻怎麼知道會是那麼的多悠呢... 想太多也不是我想要的.. 有時候我就是這麼的無聊去想象過去的事, 去後悔當初的錯誤, 回想些以前過的快樂日子... 卻偏偏傷心的事特別多~ 我想改變, 把不開心的事情都忘記! 也不去記! 把開心的事情記起來...
講來講去, 我還是沒把心裡想說的話說出來... 前一段戀愛中, 受過無數的傷害, 心裡也受了很多傷.. 經過許多的風風雨雨, 終於也把它給結束了... 雖然, 結束的不是我, 不過聽說在外面的故事卻不是事實發生的那樣~ 也因為這樣成了罪人, 不過我無所謂, 也謝謝因為這件事我看到了誰才是真正的朋友... 傷心的那段日子, 決定把我的心收起來.. 原因是因為怕再一次被傷害, 也被傷害了太多次, 對自己說不想再為這種事情而難過了.. 可是心裡卻不這麼想...
在我慢慢療傷的那段期間, 有一位朋友當天和我一樣結束了她的那段感情.. 很久沒聯絡的朋友就在當天, 再次聯絡上了.. 我們就很常出來見面聊天.. 一起聊心事, 把不開心的都一起說出, 時間慢慢久了, 我們也開始習慣了一起出來.. 但是, 慢慢的開始對她產生了那麼多的好感~ 我還是有了那個不該有的感覺.. 我怕再受傷, 也怕傷害到..
所以叻, 我想說的是, 對~ 我開始喜歡上她了... 可是我不敢, 因為怕她會受傷, 我也對自己沒那個信心了.. 其實這才是煩惱的真正源頭, 對嗎? T.T 我哭了......
Friday, 1 August 2014
Monday, 15 July 2013
It should end like how it start
Once I really love this frisbee game.. alot.. with my friends and mates.. on the field with all the grass and sometimes muddy~ those feelings were once so GREAT and UNFORGETTABLE...
but also because of this sports and games.. I lost myself, my team, my friendship, most importantly.. my passions.. all of these started here and I wish to end it here too..
I found a bunch of kids from the church who happens to be so like frisbee and wanted to play more and more every single day~ and I'm glad to have this chance to teach them and play with them.. those time were the HAPPIEST TIME I have when I'm playing frisbee with them~ after that I started to plan to build a club in the school to let them play officially and maybe a coach for them so that they can join tournament, league or competition.. and I did it.. the club was formed and we had more and more kids to join us.. I'm happy and its my pleasure to assigned as a coach for the school frisbee club :)
after few weeks of playing and finally, CHANCE ARRIVED.. Sarawak Male Open organized by one of Sibu College.. and I'm so glad that we are be able to take part in this tournament as a team named "Phoenix".. everytime were just fine, great, happy and exciting.. for the moment.. and alot of new kids had been drag into this game by me.. like Ah Mid (which i gave him this name and he used as his own now), Andy, YYK, ABY, Boonie, Wesley and etc.. these kids were really BEST and they did well~
after the tournament, we stopped for a little while and most of them stated to get a bit upgraded.. if u know what i mean.. and after that I started to feel DISTANCE.. between them.. well~ we manage to hold it quite well and of course, who in this world don wanna become better? I will too.. things changed.. when it slowly come to our second tournament.. the Sibu Ultimate Open..
not as what I've expected to be.. this game.. its.. just.. not.. right.. new member were recruited.. Darrel and some girls from the school which we used to play alot together... I know Darrel, this guy here, he wanted to join a lot and I can really see his hardwork and passion towards these game.. so I chose him~ to play with us.. together.. as one of the Phoenix family~
come to think of it now.. I've think of this name, designed the logo, shirt.. all of these were born from my own hand from my fresh.. but now I strongly felt that.. it is no longer belong to me.. I'm fine about that but one thing I feel sad about is.. I;m already slowly forgotten.. and maybe eliminated already~ I lose.. I lost.. I lone.. maybe it was my own problem.. maybe I'm really not good enough.. and maybe.. I'm hated.. but I still have this little bit of flame in me.. a tiny life stream from the tail of the Bird of Undeath.. P to the X..
All of them had grown up.. and become better player than before.. some already surpass me..
so.. I should end all of this.. I know that new member will born and it will continue to become larger and they will sure become greater as time goes longer.. I've done my job now and its time for me to take off.. feel bad and just sad.. because the one who put the most heart and effort on it, lost it from his own hand.. all the friendship and trust, love and care.. just feel bad about it.. really.. heart aching~
well~ guess its a good bye from me.. good night world and you guys too :) P..x
but also because of this sports and games.. I lost myself, my team, my friendship, most importantly.. my passions.. all of these started here and I wish to end it here too..
I found a bunch of kids from the church who happens to be so like frisbee and wanted to play more and more every single day~ and I'm glad to have this chance to teach them and play with them.. those time were the HAPPIEST TIME I have when I'm playing frisbee with them~ after that I started to plan to build a club in the school to let them play officially and maybe a coach for them so that they can join tournament, league or competition.. and I did it.. the club was formed and we had more and more kids to join us.. I'm happy and its my pleasure to assigned as a coach for the school frisbee club :)
after few weeks of playing and finally, CHANCE ARRIVED.. Sarawak Male Open organized by one of Sibu College.. and I'm so glad that we are be able to take part in this tournament as a team named "Phoenix".. everytime were just fine, great, happy and exciting.. for the moment.. and alot of new kids had been drag into this game by me.. like Ah Mid (which i gave him this name and he used as his own now), Andy, YYK, ABY, Boonie, Wesley and etc.. these kids were really BEST and they did well~
after the tournament, we stopped for a little while and most of them stated to get a bit upgraded.. if u know what i mean.. and after that I started to feel DISTANCE.. between them.. well~ we manage to hold it quite well and of course, who in this world don wanna become better? I will too.. things changed.. when it slowly come to our second tournament.. the Sibu Ultimate Open..
not as what I've expected to be.. this game.. its.. just.. not.. right.. new member were recruited.. Darrel and some girls from the school which we used to play alot together... I know Darrel, this guy here, he wanted to join a lot and I can really see his hardwork and passion towards these game.. so I chose him~ to play with us.. together.. as one of the Phoenix family~
come to think of it now.. I've think of this name, designed the logo, shirt.. all of these were born from my own hand from my fresh.. but now I strongly felt that.. it is no longer belong to me.. I'm fine about that but one thing I feel sad about is.. I;m already slowly forgotten.. and maybe eliminated already~ I lose.. I lost.. I lone.. maybe it was my own problem.. maybe I'm really not good enough.. and maybe.. I'm hated.. but I still have this little bit of flame in me.. a tiny life stream from the tail of the Bird of Undeath.. P to the X..
All of them had grown up.. and become better player than before.. some already surpass me..
so.. I should end all of this.. I know that new member will born and it will continue to become larger and they will sure become greater as time goes longer.. I've done my job now and its time for me to take off.. feel bad and just sad.. because the one who put the most heart and effort on it, lost it from his own hand.. all the friendship and trust, love and care.. just feel bad about it.. really.. heart aching~
well~ guess its a good bye from me.. good night world and you guys too :) P..x
Sunday, 3 March 2013
22 歲
這個標題..有點 kik..22 歲~ 我今年的年齡~ 本人, 是一個非常喜歡運動和思想的男生~ 無時無刻都在思考...不過一旦開始思考, 我就忘了怎麼微笑~
剛才在沖凉房里洗衣服...刷著我人生第一件 飛盤 衣服~ ultimate frisbee~ 刷著刷著...想過我怎麼努力, 怎麼打拼, 有過放棄, 手腳受傷, 喜怒哀樂, 玩飛盤是的點點滴滴, 都漸漸出現在腦海裡~ 可是我的生體卻告訴我說.." 你必須休息了"
今天在練習當中, 原本還有很多體力的奔跑和衝刺..可是突然間手腳麻痹 >.< 在隊友不知覺的情況下找了我疼愛的弟弟~ 扶我起來..陪我到廁所吐 =.= (叫人家跑結果自己先倒) 然後休息一下后覺得舒服很多, 又開始奔跑了! 在奔跑的時候我看到了..大家都很認真, 很嚴肅, 來了來了!! 開始興奮了~ 開始認真一點起來, 看看我隊友能到什麽程度..不錯~ 都很滿意 ^^ 大家都進步了..下個禮拜再來一次..這一次..我 絕對 不會 放水
打完的時候走向外面..看著大家一個個的臉色, 已經有那個 成功 的臉了~ 大家都拼了..都盡力了..我感到非常高興~ 只是, 我多希望我還能夠再幫他們多一點~~
真的累了...雖然有著 22歲的年齡, 卻有著 25歲的身體... 前幾天有個姐姐來我們家量了我身體的狀況..嚇死人~ 明明就 22歲 爲什麽身體 25 到 26 歲... 也不奇怪..到處都是傷..這裡痛那裡痛... 回到家看著自己的雙手和雙腳...覺得是時候停下來了~~ 其實, 媽媽, 外婆, 朋友, 連醫生啊, 都鼓勵我休息了...呵呵~ 可是我不想停止..哎~~~~~ 其實這個都不是我要講的..
ok TUESO!!! blog updated byebye (廢)
剛才在沖凉房里洗衣服...刷著我人生第一件 飛盤 衣服~ ultimate frisbee~ 刷著刷著...想過我怎麼努力, 怎麼打拼, 有過放棄, 手腳受傷, 喜怒哀樂, 玩飛盤是的點點滴滴, 都漸漸出現在腦海裡~ 可是我的生體卻告訴我說.." 你必須休息了"
今天在練習當中, 原本還有很多體力的奔跑和衝刺..可是突然間手腳麻痹 >.< 在隊友不知覺的情況下找了我疼愛的弟弟~ 扶我起來..陪我到廁所吐 =.= (叫人家跑結果自己先倒) 然後休息一下后覺得舒服很多, 又開始奔跑了! 在奔跑的時候我看到了..大家都很認真, 很嚴肅, 來了來了!! 開始興奮了~ 開始認真一點起來, 看看我隊友能到什麽程度..不錯~ 都很滿意 ^^ 大家都進步了..下個禮拜再來一次..這一次..我 絕對 不會 放水
打完的時候走向外面..看著大家一個個的臉色, 已經有那個 成功 的臉了~ 大家都拼了..都盡力了..我感到非常高興~ 只是, 我多希望我還能夠再幫他們多一點~~
真的累了...雖然有著 22歲的年齡, 卻有著 25歲的身體... 前幾天有個姐姐來我們家量了我身體的狀況..嚇死人~ 明明就 22歲 爲什麽身體 25 到 26 歲... 也不奇怪..到處都是傷..這裡痛那裡痛... 回到家看著自己的雙手和雙腳...覺得是時候停下來了~~ 其實, 媽媽, 外婆, 朋友, 連醫生啊, 都鼓勵我休息了...呵呵~ 可是我不想停止..哎~~~~~ 其實這個都不是我要講的..
ok TUESO!!! blog updated byebye (廢)
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
最近, 一直在練習..為著下個禮拜的比賽做好准備~ 這也是第一次我帶領一支全新的隊伍去比賽~ 而且還是 SARAWAK 級的比賽...其實還蠻壓力的~ 雖然嘴上一直說我們只是去吸取經驗, 去玩玩, 不用太認真, 其實我並不是這麼想~ 誰不想贏?
一向來我都是再別的隊裡擔任聽命的工作..比如說配合其他隊友, 明白教練, 知道主將, 這些東西..在飛盤里我打的位子向來都是 Deep..我從來沒打過 Handler..不過因為在這支隊里缺少了 Handler 這個位子..所以我覺得我需要填補..畢竟這個位子還蠻重要的~
也許自己給自己壓力吧...看著我這新的隊伍~ 這麼努力的練習~ 我真的不希望他們的努力到比賽的時候沒機會用上場...所以我更加努力~ 希望自己可以強一點, 可以幫助他們~ 可惜...到頭來...我還是失敗了...
其中一個隊友提到..當他拿到我們隊伍的戰衣時, 穿上那件衣都覺得丟臉...因為在一場友誼賽, 我們以 1比12 輸給了對方..對方不是什麽強隊..可是..我們還是輸了...雖然嘴上說沒關係~ 沒關係~ 心裡, 確實那麼的不服, 那麼的不甘~
開始到了晚上..隊員開始了意見不合~ 在這樣的情況下...我開始了自責...真的覺得自己不夠好...激勵不了隊友~ 不夠兇...外人都問我爲什麽不要打出自己的全力? 爲什麽不罵下他們才會進步...我不是不要...是不捨...我很珍惜這些隊友~ 也是我辛苦才找的~ 我不想因為我個人的利益或想法然後去責備人家...我不會~
昨天晚上躺在床上一直都睡不著...一直在想有沒有什麽解決方法...很對不起一些的隊友~ 他們付出的努力我都看到了~ 可是因為能力有限...最後還是輸了信心~ 每天都在想能有什麽辦法幫助他們..想到的都幫不上...算了吧~
一個晚上也夠了...今天就繼續練習吧~
Saturday, 16 February 2013
今天的心情
這篇部落格是寫給那些一直謝謝我不夠的小弟弟小妹妹們~ 哈哈! 你們太可愛了~ 叔叔我收到你們的感謝了啦~ 我很感動 :) 也很高興 :) 我承認是很累, 雖然我一直說沒關係, 可是我很開心能跟你們在一起瘋狂玩樂~ 哈哈哈!
去了好多間家~ 一輛車擠了13 14 15 個人..駕了數十多公里的路~ 拿了不少紅包~ 終於..一天就這麼結束了~
其實你們真的不用謝謝我啦..我也只是幫忙駕車罷了~ 車也不是我的~ 然後又麻煩你們帶一個 uncle 和你們一起~ 呵呵..也好幾個擔心我 emo 也跑來跟我聊天~ 也謝謝你們這麼關心我~ 我後半段是真的沒力氣了所以比較 emo 一點~ 哈哈哈! 我到最後唱生日歌的時候也用盡我最後的力氣了..哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!! 最終唱出了一首不難聽的生日歌~ OhYA!! Ivia 生日快樂 ^^
還有就是 gaboji 今天被罵被打 >.< 腳上還有了淤痕~ T.T 不過感謝主你沒事咯~ 還有你那可愛的弟弟, 真的, 你要非常非常愛他~ 哈哈..找不到這麼好的弟弟了~ 阿偉~ 我要做你哥哥!! 哈哈哈!! 然後可以這樣被你保護~ you are so nice~~~~ xD
其實就很多很多感謝你們的地方~ 可是就是不知道要怎麼說..總之, 謝謝你們這群小弟弟小妹妹們啦! 叔叔非常非常開心~
你們也別謝我了啦..哈哈! 我會 paisehh 的呃~~~ ^3^
我累了所以頭腦不能 function 了~ 呵呵..就寫這麼多啦~ 大家的照片快快 upload 了哦!!
小弟弟~ 小妹妹們~ 晚安! ;) <3
去了好多間家~ 一輛車擠了13 14 15 個人..駕了數十多公里的路~ 拿了不少紅包~ 終於..一天就這麼結束了~
其實你們真的不用謝謝我啦..我也只是幫忙駕車罷了~ 車也不是我的~ 然後又麻煩你們帶一個 uncle 和你們一起~ 呵呵..也好幾個擔心我 emo 也跑來跟我聊天~ 也謝謝你們這麼關心我~ 我後半段是真的沒力氣了所以比較 emo 一點~ 哈哈哈! 我到最後唱生日歌的時候也用盡我最後的力氣了..哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!! 最終唱出了一首不難聽的生日歌~ OhYA!! Ivia 生日快樂 ^^
還有就是 gaboji 今天被罵被打 >.< 腳上還有了淤痕~ T.T 不過感謝主你沒事咯~ 還有你那可愛的弟弟, 真的, 你要非常非常愛他~ 哈哈..找不到這麼好的弟弟了~ 阿偉~ 我要做你哥哥!! 哈哈哈!! 然後可以這樣被你保護~ you are so nice~~~~ xD
其實就很多很多感謝你們的地方~ 可是就是不知道要怎麼說..總之, 謝謝你們這群小弟弟小妹妹們啦! 叔叔非常非常開心~
你們也別謝我了啦..哈哈! 我會 paisehh 的呃~~~ ^3^
我累了所以頭腦不能 function 了~ 呵呵..就寫這麼多啦~ 大家的照片快快 upload 了哦!!
小弟弟~ 小妹妹們~ 晚安! ;) <3
Monday, 21 January 2013
Lucky Guy - David Choi
A nice song by David Choi.. I personally love this song very much~ the reason? because this song totally sing out what is in my mind and heart.. exactly the same story and feeling ^^
song lyrics as below:
It's been so long since I've met someone
That makes me feel this way
Makes me smile, and that's hard to do
I don't think it's something you realize you do
You make me feel
Like I'm the only guy
With you in the world
But we can't be together
Can't really be friends
We can't be lovers
And we can't pretend
Oh that boy in your life
Better make you his wife
And he better believe he's a lucky guy
A really nice song~ had been listening to this song every day and night.. just to remind me and tell me that what is truth.. I think I really should accept the truth that is happening you know..
I'm a weird person too actually.. I never know I've done something so wrong.. Shouldn't have know my own mistake.. But it's fine ^^ well~~ once again I choose to leave hometown and go to other places for few days and come back with a new ME..
Alright! Gotta go xD
here's Lucky Guy songs ^^ have fun~
David Choi - Lucky Guy
song lyrics as below:
It's been so long since I've met someone
That makes me feel this way
Makes me smile, and that's hard to do
I don't think it's something you realize you do
You make me feel
Like I'm the only guy
With you in the world
But we can't be together
Can't really be friends
We can't be lovers
And we can't pretend
Oh that boy in your life
Better make you his wife
And he better believe he's a lucky guy
A really nice song~ had been listening to this song every day and night.. just to remind me and tell me that what is truth.. I think I really should accept the truth that is happening you know..
I'm a weird person too actually.. I never know I've done something so wrong.. Shouldn't have know my own mistake.. But it's fine ^^ well~~ once again I choose to leave hometown and go to other places for few days and come back with a new ME..
Alright! Gotta go xD
here's Lucky Guy songs ^^ have fun~
David Choi - Lucky Guy
Thursday, 17 January 2013
I'm sorry
Cnblue (Code Name BLUE) 是一個韓國明星樂團~ 最近推出了新專輯 ReBlue~ 主曲: I'm sorry~ 很好聽 ^^
最近比想像中的還不好過一點..之前因為一些事把 blog lock 起來..可是這幾天的心情還蠻複雜的~ 可是沒有地方發洩所以又回來寫了 ^^"
這首 I'm sorry 是我個人最喜歡的一首歌~ 雖然叫 I'm sorry , 可是整首歌都是以 ROCK 的旋律在唱~ 很符合我這幾天的心情..通常看到 I'm sorry 這樣的歌名, 應該是會想到傷心或比較慢的歌~ Cnblue 把整首歌轉成 ROCK 的~ 帶著一點 怒 ~ 太棒了!
這就是我喜歡 Cnblue 的其中原因~ 他們的歌都很有特色~ 每個樂手都有不同唱風和性格~
Jung Yong Hwa (leader)
喜歡他性感的嗓音~ 而且我很喜歡他寫的歌~ 每首歌都唱出我的感受~ (很常)
Lee Jong Hyun (guitar)
我很喜歡他的聲音~ 很溫柔~ 每次聽他唱情歌自己也會陶醉的~ 哈哈!!
Lee Jung Shin (bassist)
他多數是唱 rap 的部份~ 還不錯! 團隊裡最高的~ 哈哈!!
Kang Min Hyuk (drummer)
個性跟我最想的 :P 也和我一樣在樂團里擔任鼓手這個位子的~ 他這個人靜靜的不過有是也很好笑~
看來我寫這篇文章的真正目的還是沒說打~ 不過還是算了吧 ^^ in then end I just wanna say :
I'm sorry
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