at this moment...i wish i don't have to think of anything..don't have to do anything..don't have to say anything..don't have to see anything..don't have to listen anything..

all i wanna do is just CRY

True "me" OTHER "me"

sometimes..if we over act ourselves it will turn out that you can never be yourself back again...
means like real you is the one who were really quite and kinda shy BUT when getting along with friends you are turning into a very active or talkative person that everyone like...
these was just an act sometime and we cannot SEE as it's something we LIKE but not truely UNDERSTAND..
but one day when you don't feel like not being active and talkative you..people will start asking "why are you so sad?" "what is in your mind?" "are you ok?"
i'm fine..just i want to be myself today~~ that's all ^^

~~Dear Mummy~~

just few minutes ago, my mum was combing her hair and try to put some colour on them (means dye)...but some part of her hair she cannot see so she asked my help..

i walked out and take the comb and the bottle of colour chemical bla bla bla (don't know what is the thing called actually) and start to help colouring her hair..

as i was colouring, i was only colouring hair that i can see..but then when almost done and still left a bit of the colouring chemical stuff, she asked me to colour those white hair hidding inside those blacken hair..

then i was "ok~i'm free alright..." then slowly using the comb to comb the hair..

wow~~after helping my do the colouring only i realize..the hair i always see was only what i see outside..the inside hair was so white...at that moment i feel a sudden sad in my heart..i never know that mum was hidding those white hair inside..

so then i continue my work colouring her white hair one by one..while i'm colouring and looking at those white hair..i started to think..those white hair were so many but we never know! all the works, all the jobs, all the stuff were all done by mum and never i heard she say anything about it..BUT we as children always complain our parents asking us do this and that..not only that! we often complain about parents being too kepo or nagging..

the feeling was all of the things that i never know about my mum come towards me at the moment i colour the white hair..omg~its really sad touching >.< those white hair......

freinds who read this blog..maybe you don't understand what all this mean BUT do help your mum to comb her hair JUST ONCE! then you'll know what i'm sharing here..

very very emo day"s"

recent mood? EMO >.<

having  and really nervous about my august examination..for both guitar and drum..WTH! i haven't finish all the pieces that need to play during exam! and drum still i got things that i cannot understand!

going to KL on july..two weeks..i need to replace classes for two weeks..hard to arrange time..arghh~

the thing that can only cheer me up is church, fellowship and all my dearest church brothers and sisters..

don't know why i just can't mess with my brother (home) nice and having good relation..just can't..we are from same mom but different wrold =.=lll you got it?

happy to see my two dear noona, Joanne and Pixie, glad they came back and we met up ^^ at least i feel happy when gather with them~

guitar......how can i LOVE you?????? can you LOVE me back????? !@#$%^&*

meet back with Amy and Nurul, my two pretty dongsaeng..mymy become thinner xD nunu..still the same as she was..hwaiting!

what is this blog all mean? nothing ^^ just feel right to write it....

annyeong~~saranghae~~~~

today is just wonderful and good~just a while ago i went out with my best friend and we eat and share stories together~

among the stories we share there's something i feel so bad and wrong about it..the bad way that i've been treating my friendS~

i feel so bad when we talk about this topic because i ever heard that when i was in secondary, i'm hated by many people..reason? because i act too lawa in school >.< indeed it's TRUE!! i'm very active during secondary and many people know who i am..and thats the reason why i'm hated by them because i'm known and people were discussing me behind..

talking about "discussing me behind"..Harry~~i'm so sorry that i said bad things about you during the time we work together..i'm so sorry~ i know that maybe you had forgive me but until now meeting and talking with you still i feel guilty~ from the bottom of my heart i feel SORRY~~

this year i've learnt MANY MORAL! and it really help me in my life..i start to change..for some those who hate me i can't change your thinking but i will change myself and again appear in front of you a brand new me..i wish that one day you will accept me as friend again~

its a bit emo actually but these are what i'm having inside me now..well~ gotta sleep xD having a BLASTING night tonight! GOODNIGHT~~~

its a brand new day today and tomorrow is 20th May~

what's so special about tomorrow? nothing la~~~~ just quite a meaningful day for couples lo T.T

this few days i didn't touch my bloggie much because i was busy having fun with friends who were just back from kuching xD

and today is the day that i miss Her very much~ but she seems like doesn't miss me at all...its ok because maybe she was having classes and going to school all the time..

what to say? nothing~ haizzzzzzz....

(today is kinda moody >.<)

A day had passed again..history were yesterday, now is today, future are tomorrow..

Everyday are the same and I'm waiting for changes~
Everyday I heard of bad news and I'm waiting for a good new~
Everyday I'm scared and I'm waiting for peace~
Everyday I'm waiting for Her.........and now I'm still waiting for Her~

this morning when i woke up, before i opened my eye i'm scared! i was so afraid that when i tried to open i cannot see anything..every morning i'm carrying this fear just to open my eye i'm so scared..

God please help me with this FEAR! day by day i'm having this FEAR and i'm really scare...